If you’re of a certain age, you may remember an era when people actually placed ads in the paper in order to find prospective partners. Now, of course, that is ancient history as online dating continues to be a cultural force. Millions of people use dating apps and online sites, but like most technological breakthroughs, the numbers skew young: 30% of Americans 18-29 years currently engage in online dating.
It can be very easy to feel hurt and rejected when using dating apps. Because there is no genuine interaction (in the early stages), many people have no problem simply ceasing communication without explanation. You can treat people badly with no repercussions, a problem with virtually every aspect of the internet. If you are thinking about entering into the world of online dating, here are some suggestions that can help:
Be Prepared for Rejection…A Lot of It
Much of online dating connections revolve around looks, particularly for men seeking partners. Thus, in most cases, this is all users initially have to go on, so the most attractive people get the most messages. Of course, there is far more to a connection than just looks, but that only becomes apparent when you interact, particularly in person. When you put your profile up, don’t be surprised if you get few responses; that is completely normal. It’s very important to have realistic expectations.
Don’t Take Rejection Personally
Many online dating experiences end after the first face-to-face. If someone goes silent on you following a date, don’t take that rejection personally. You cannot truly know a person from such limited contact, so they are rejecting you on the basis of a very slim appraisal of who you are. Ask your friends: we bet you will find that many longtime couples initially had no interest at all in each other. Their attraction blossomed over time as they got to know one another through regular interaction.
If You Feel Vulnerable, Stay Away
Just ended a relationship? It can be tempting to “jump right back into the saddle,” but this is actually bad timing. Chances are you already feel very hurt and vulnerable, so online dating rejection is likely to hit you twice as hard.