How Not to Be Hurt When Using Dating Apps

 

If you’re of a certain age, you may remember an era when people actually placed ads in the paper in order to find prospective partners. Now, of course, that is ancient history as online dating continues to be a cultural force. Millions of people use dating apps and online sites, but like most technological breakthroughs, the numbers skew young: 30% of Americans 18-29 years currently engage in online dating.

It can be very easy to feel hurt and rejected when using dating apps. Because there is no genuine interaction (in the early stages), many people have no problem simply ceasing communication without explanation. You can treat people badly with no repercussions, a problem with virtually every aspect of the internet. If you are thinking about entering into the world of online dating, here are some suggestions that can help:

Be Prepared for Rejection…A Lot of It

Much of online dating connections revolve around looks, particularly for men seeking partners. Thus, in most cases, this is all users initially have to go on, so the most attractive people get the most messages. Of course, there is far more to a connection than just looks, but that only becomes apparent when you interact, particularly in person. When you put your profile up, don’t be surprised if you get few responses; that is completely normal. It’s very important to have realistic expectations.

Don’t Take Rejection Personally

Many online dating experiences end after the first face-to-face. If someone goes silent on you following a date, don’t take that rejection personally. You cannot truly know a person from such limited contact, so they are rejecting you on the basis of a very slim appraisal of who you are. Ask your friends: we bet you will find that many longtime couples initially had no interest at all in each other. Their attraction blossomed over time as they got to know one another through regular interaction.

If You Feel Vulnerable, Stay Away

Just ended a relationship? It can be tempting to “jump right back into the saddle,” but this is actually bad timing. Chances are you already feel very hurt and vulnerable, so online dating rejection is likely to hit you twice as hard.

When is a TV Too Big?

TVs are getting bigger and bigger. Screen sizes that once seemed like the sort of thing you would only find in a sports bar are now turning up in suburban living rooms. Bigger is better is the mantra for many products these days, and the increasingly low price of televisions has resulted in bigger sizes becoming more affordable. The depth and clarity of 4K also mean that these 60-90” behemoths are still capable of displaying a very high-quality image.

But when is big simply too big? One complaint about television heard since the dawn of the medium is that it is the bastion of low-brow entertainment. Anyone who feels that way is probably not that comfortable with having a TV at all, let alone one that would dominate their living room.

Men tend to love large televisions more than women. Perhaps because sports and action movies are more accommodating to that bigger display, while romantic comedies seem more intimate on a screen that does not take up half of the living room wall. Let’s face it, though, the truth is probably simple: men love their gadgets and need to impress their friends, so they always buy into bigger is better.

From a scientific perspective, you really ought to be at least 9 feet back from a 60-inch screen (here’s a handy calculator that will provide the right distance for your TV and viewing area) to get the optimal effect. However, anything above that size and you will likely drive your interior decorator over the brink. Think about it: how would you create a lovely living environment in a room dominated by a giant black rectangle? You can always compromise and have a separate TV room that you keep out of view from strangers, like some oddball relative.

We suspect this argument won’t be settled anytime soon and might get even stranger when holographic displays become the new norm.